This journey has not been easy but as with everything, there are positives to be found.
Joel, at an age when he should be becoming more and more independent and spreading his wings, is losing so much control. His choices are limited right now as are his opportunities and his life seems to have been put on hold. I know he must have complaints and frustrations but he does not voice them.
Now that Grant is in Vancouver with Joel, Adam has stepped up and is filling the role of being the man of the house. Asking me if we can afford things, hourly asking if there is anything he can do to help, not wanting to leave and go out with his friends because he feels responsible for the welfare of the house. I don’t know how to take the weight off his shoulders; I don’t think he even knows he is carrying it. I think it is being done unconsciously but it has been amazing to see the maturity coming out of him, the questions he is asking and the concern he is showing for others.
Ari makes being a mother very easy. He is content, carefree and easygoing, much like what Joel was like at this age.
For me, it has been a chance to reflect on and decide what is really important to me. I have been blown away and humbled at the love and support that has been shown to our family. I have always been fiercely independent and self-reliant. I like having options and feeling like I am in control. So, I too have to change and grow in a manner in which I personally would not have chosen for myself. I only hope I can do it as gracefully as my kids have.
It has also been a great weight loss program but definitely not one I would recommend to anyone else.
My kids are all human and have faults so tomorrow (next week, month, year) when they do something immature, silly or embarrass the heck out of me…… I promise to read the above and respond with grace.